Successful, Submissive, and Single

I came across a couple who were having a disagreement with the role the woman should play in their relationship. He wanted total control and she was determined not to give it to him. As an outsider, I witnessed a third woman request for help from the man. She became pliable and he was ecstatic that someone valued his opinion. His attention to the third woman eventually became a source of contention for his current relationship. How do you handle it when you are in a relationship where the operative feature is making submission the “elephant in the room?”

Recently God has been dealing with me on this subject. It’s interesting how the mind works because when we think about submission many emotions naturally surface. We think submission = slavery, weakness, undervalued, among others relative to this category. Each of these evokes varying emotions which can include both insecurity and anger. Insecurity, we feel a certain level of powerlessness that resonates with a feeling of operating in lack (i.e. of control) causing us to relate relationship to neediness. Anger, we feel a certain level of pride or powerfulness causing us to operate in a feeling of total control; as a result, making it difficult to relinquish that control and causing us to relate to relationship to a platform of dictatorship. Targeting these emotions towards the one, to whom we’re to be submitted, is dangerous.

God looks at submission a different way. I can only feebly describe - as a miraculous system of trusting in God for leadership to bring a covering of honor to you; but, somehow this seems inadequate for the benefits far outweigh the sacrifice. For instance, God gave Moses the task of leading the children of Israel to the Promised Land. God gave the position, the vision, and the mission of leadership to Moses. Those that submitted and followed Moses were able to experience the wonderfulness of the Promised Land. Isn’t it interesting that out of the entire original colony that left Egypt the only ones who were able to enter were Joshua and Caleb. Their submission, led them to a place where they could appreciate the difference and could stand confidently in who they were because of where God brought them from.

Why, then, does submission evoke such powerful emotions? First, I think it’s a misunderstanding, as women of God we’re to look for Godly men that will lead us in kingdom principles which causes a covering of protection from the hurt and danger caused by living otherwise. For instance, if a man enters into your life and his requirements consistently and constantly go against the requirements of God. That’s not the person to whom you’re supposed to be submissive – let that cup pass from you – that person will cause more anger and insecurity than good. However, if your “boo” is leading you under God’s grace to the Promised Land…then submit to your heart’s desire cause you’re about to go somewhere awesome. Let the Lord use him! In other words, don’t stop submitting to God in order to submit to people and you’ll find it will be easier to be successful, submissive, and single.